


My Immortal

by banana_chocolate97



Category: the GazettE
Genre: Death, Evanescence, Hallucinations, M/M, Oneshot, Reituki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-23
Updated: 2016-06-23
Packaged: 2018-07-16 19:59:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7282624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/banana_chocolate97/pseuds/banana_chocolate97
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Losing someone you loved from the bottom of your heart can hit you hard. So hard in fact, that sometimes the feelings associated with it don't even feel real anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Immortal

**Author's Note:**

> Apparently inspired by [Evanescence's My Immortal](http://bit.ly/1kDi0Mr) , give it a listen though I think that a lot of you already know it. :) It's a beautiful song :)

_I'm so tired of being here._

I am. I am _so_ tired.

_I wish that you would just leave._

Can't you? Can't you just finally leave my mind after all these years? 

_'Cause your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone._

It won't, Ruki. And it's torture, wanting you here and wanting you gone, at the same time. 

 

_These wounds won't seem to heal. There's just too much that time cannot erase._

Time can erase a lot. But not this. Not _you_ , god damn it. 

_When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears._

And you cried a lot, Ruki, do you remember? But I kept bringing you back up when all this time all we did was fighting against time. Damn me for losing. 

_When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears._

I fought, God, I fought... I fought my soul out of my body for you, I fought until my mind went blank. And as blank as it was, it only left more room for your screams to echo inside it, whenever you woke up from the nightmares. 

_And I held your hand through all of these years but you still have all of me._

I held it so, so tightly and still it wasn't firm enough, was it? And still, I let you fall, along with all of me. 

 

_You used to captivate me by your resonating light, now I'm bound by the life you left behind._

Your light was everywhere, Ruki, it was everywhere. It was the sunlight, it was the light of the lamp on your nightstand, it was the moonlight that sparkled in your tears the night you told me that you're tired of fighting. And it was the light of the car's headlight, the same night. We had so little time. 

_Your face, it haunts my once pleasant dreams, your voice, it chased away all the sanity in me._

They aren't the same dreams anymore and I can't count the nights that I've been waking up in Uruha's arms, screaming, just like you did before, in mine. And yes, it's all gone, it's all replaced by insanity that I can't keep away. And not even Uruha's arms are able to save me, no matter how tightly he keeps holding me, no matter how often he keeps whispering my name into the darkness of our lifeless bedroom. Because most of me died with you and he's trying so, so hard to revive me. 

_There's just too much that time cannot erase._

 

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone._

You're gone. You are gone. Aren't you? Aren't you, Ruki? Tell me you are. I don't want to watch Uruha suffer anymore when actually he should see it's useless. 

_But though you're still with me,_

Are you? Or was it all a dream? A ... hallucination? A spawn of wandering thoughts?

_I've been alone all along._


End file.
